It will come as no surprise to any of you who have significant experience interacting with guys, that as a rule, we think about sex frequently...incessantly...almost constantly, whether we are asleep or awake. And in order to keep things always fresh and interesting, we fuel our sexual mental meanderings with images so profoundly decadent, they could make a porn star blush. That is not to say that we would actually participate in these episodes of lurid lewdness, and raucous ribaldry (wow, sexually-related language is fun) if we had the opportunity in real life. No, in many cases our fantasies are most satisfying because they are something we can only dream about without the pressure of having to make them real. And why is this? Because the US that exists in our fantasies is an idealization of who we'd like to be...if we had limitless stamina, sensational athleticism, incredible flexibility, and an ever-erect member of mythic proportions. But as you know, sadly, most of us fall short (no pun intended) in many of these areas. So living out many of our fantasies is, therefore, an impossible dream.
That being said, there is ONE fantasy that most men believe they can actually live out - given the right set of circumstances, an open-minded, accepting partner, and substantial amounts of high-octane libations. And what is this desire that we most optimistically believe we can realize in this lifetime? I am talking about, of course, a threesome, or ménage-a-trois (everything sounds more exotic in French - even snails). And while some guys might consider a three-way with a girl and another guy to be exciting, most men desire a more "traditional" girl/boy/girl arrangement, making us the "meat" in this sexual sandwich.
But why is it that this is the go-to sexual "flight of fancy" of most red-blooded males? Frankly, I'm not sure there has been extensive research on this subject, or if scholarly works addressing this are available for perusal. What I DO know is that, for guys, having simultaneous, sexual relations with two women at once is an example of "more is more." In other words, sex with one woman is good - and with more than one woman is better. Why? Well, first, there are more of our favorite parts to play with: More lips to kiss; more breasts to caress; more vagina's to...well you get the point. Second, we kind of feel like we've won the lottery. Normally we have to move heaven and earth to get ONE woman to be intimate with us. Now we have TWO hot women (okay, in reality they may not always be hot - but in our imaginations, they're smokin') rubbing and kissing on us and using us as their sex toy. What could be better than that? And third, there is always a chance (in our naughty minds, anyway) that any time you get naked girls together in close proximity, they may start getting up-close-and-personal with each other (preferably while we're recovering from our previous carnal cavorting) and we get to have a bird's-eye view. Major voyeurs that we are, seeing two women in an amorous embrace is another big fantasy of the male persuasion. And now after getting reheated from seeing all that lady-lovin', we can join in the festivities and drown in a sea of writhing, moaning, heaving flesh. Then cap it off with a frosty brew and "Sports Center"...and you've got the perfect evening (okay, just kidding about the last part, but hey, it's OUR fantasy, right?).
Of course, for most men, this is a dream that will never be realized. And perhaps it's better that way. The reality of threesomes rarely live up to the hype. And even when they do, misunderstandings, jealousy, regret, and feelings of betrayal often come into play, putting a damper on the proceedings or the memory thereof. Nonetheless, as long as there are horny men (are there any other kind?), and women they find attractive, our noble quest for a ménage-a-trois will continue, unabated. It is our pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And though we know we will probably never find it, we will always forge ahead (mentally, at least) as if this lusty reward is just around the next corner. And if it's not, a Starbucks probably is. So if we can't live our dreams, at least we can console ourselves with a caramel macchiato and undress the comely barista with our eyes.
© 2010 David M. Matthews. All Rights Reserved.
David M. Matthews -
Relationship Advice Guru and Author of:
"Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider's Guide to How Men Think"
http://www.everymanseesyounaked.com/
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