Male Chastity: The Myth and the Magic

Male Chastity is one of the most common yet probably the most misunderstood kinks or fetishes out there. I say "common" because every month there are (literally) hundreds of thousands of searches for this and related topics alone; and I say "misunderstood" because the results of those searches usually mean the average searcher ends up even less informed than he or she was at the beginning.

Why?

Because virtually everything you ever read about male chastity is completely wrong, misrepresented and even just plain made up by men who are living their fantasy through a computer screen.

While there are no doubt many definitions of what male chastity is supposed to be here's the one I use: where a man consensually hands over control of his orgasm to his partner.

In other words he wants his partner to be the one to decide when, how, where and even if he gets to orgasm, either when they are enjoying physical intimacy together or when he is on his own.

Orgasm denial is then 'enforced' by the man wearing a chastity device or belt and handing over the key to his partner. These devices can cost anything from $100 to $1500, and more. It's a serious business and men and women take it very seriously indeed.

And that, in a nutshell is all it is.

There are a few things it's important to understand.

First, male chastity is not the same as celibacy.

In fact there is probably nothing worse for a man who craves male chastity to be "locked and left" or ignored. The dynamics of male chastity mean practitioners usually enjoy more sexual intimacy not less. Most men want to be teased to the point of orgasm... and then denied that last, crucial step. I don't fully understand it, but I do know it's true and I know the amazing pleasure and benefits it brings (my husband, John, recently completed a full year of orgasm denial with frequent tease-and-denial sessions).

Following on from this is the common misconception male chastity is a cure-all, a panacea for broken relationships.

It's not. While it's true male chastity and orgasm denial tend to bring couples closer together, it works only when the relationship is fundamentally sound. If the thought of touching you makes your partner's skin crawl, then while locking your dick away from the world might seem like the answer to all prayers, in reality it's just a bomb waiting to go off.

The second thing to understand is male chastity is not the same as male submission (you'll even read accounts of men who are "forced" into chastity against their will; for many reasons, all of them obvious to anyone prepared to think about them, these stories are all lies).

These are common misrepresentations, and ones cheerfully perpetuated by any number of blogs, forums and other discussion groups where the main purpose seems to be to insult, degrade and humiliate men.

Nothing wrong with this if it's what the poor fellows actually want, but in my experience, very few men really do; or, at least, there is a very sizable proportion of men who crave male chastity who don't want all the D&S stuff so many people pretend has to go along with it.

Many female-led relationships do include male chastity as an element of the woman's control of her man, but the reverse is not necessarily true.

My own relationship with my husband, John, for instance, is male-led, which is how we both like it. We run our own consulting business and John is most definitely the one in the driving seat.

Moreover, he's a strong, assertive masculine sort and far removed from the submissive or "sissy" type commonly associated with male chastity. The only 'control' of him I have is I decide when and if he orgasms. It's just a game and if he didn't want to play it he's big enough and strong enough to make it stop.

And we are neither rare nor exceptional: I get hundreds of emails a week from readers who see it the same way. Sometimes this is called "vanilla chastity" and it's far more common than you might think, although it's also true my audience is somewhat self-selecting.

Male chastity is really nothing more than glorified teasing - a game played out over weeks, months and perhaps years rather than just confined to the bedroom.

It's a serious game, to be sure, but that's not to say it can't be fun as well. It's really just a matter of becoming informed.

So... click the blue link and claim your FREE male chastity guide and discover the truth about male chastity.

But HURRY! I'm giving away this Guide today and tomorrow ONLY to anyone who visits my website. So if you're serious about male chastity, be sure to get it before tomorrow night.

Your FREE guide is waiting for you here: http://www.malechastityblog.com/male-chastity-guide

Sexually Pleasing a Woman

The Chastity Lifestyle - Avoiding Temptation

Male chastity is a surprisingly popular choice for many men and women even in committed relationships.

This is not to be confused with celibacy which is a complete absence of sexual contact, and in my opinion generally indicates a big problem in the relationship (although I recognise there are exceptions, rare as they may be).

But the obvious question has to be, how do men and women avoid temptation?

How does man avoid the temptation to "cheat" and have an orgasm when he's not supposed to (no device can prevent this with 100% effectiveness); and how do we women, in the heat of the moment stop ourselves from giving in and letting him have the orgasm he wants?

Alas, there is no easy answer to this, and in my experience and the experience of the men and women I've helped in their pursuit of chastity, it's really a matter of practice.

We become good at anything by trying it, making mistakes, and then improving. In other words, we become good at things by being bad at things and working to get better.

That said, here are three simple tips I've found useful in avoiding the temptations inherent in chastity:

Remember he wants to orgasm... but he craves denial. Understanding this takes time and effort (and ultimately it might simply mean accepting it regardless of whether you understand it or not). Fact is, no matter how much he says he wants to orgasm, if you give in to temptation and don't enforce chastity, then I promise, he really won't thank you for it. Once the heat of the moment has gone, he'll be telling you he wishes you'd been stricter.
Bear in mind this is for both of you. It seems like a lot of hard work keeping your man in chastity. And it is. So you're entitled to some payback in the form of his pleasing you without necessarily having tease and denial in return. That's what he wants, but he can't have his cake and eat it. He can't give you control on the one hand, and tell you how you should be doing it on the other.
Understand it's just a game. Many men and women take the chastity game -- and themselves -- far too seriously. I've known women get angry when their men orgasm when they're not supposed to. That's just silly. It's meant to be a bit of fun. It's certainly not worth falling out about. So relax and enjoy it.

There's more to it than this, of course and if you want to learn more about it, I suggest you put in the time to find some good, solid resources on the topic.

So... click the blue link and claim your FREE male chastity guide and discover the truth about male chastity and temptation.

But HURRY! I'm giving away this Guide today and tomorrow ONLY to anyone who visits my website. So if you're serious about male chastity and avoiding temptation, be sure to get it before tomorrow night!

Your FREE guide is waiting for you here: http://www.malechastityblog.com/male-chastity-guide

Sexually Pleasing a Woman

Why Is Male Chastity Good for Women?

It comes as a huge surprise to many people to discover male chastity is as beneficial and pleasurable for women as it is for the men who beg them for it.

Why is it such a surprise?

Because the whole male chastity thing is very much off the radar for most women. Yes, there is the very occasional woman who comes across the idea first and then talks her man into it, but in the main it's a very male-driven thing (as an aside, I would simply love to be a fly on the wall when a woman says to her man, "honey... I don't think you should orgasm for a while... no... I don't mean we're not going to make love... I mean I'm going to be having the orgasms and you're going to be waiting for yours for a few weeks").

So where is the benefit for women?

Well, from long experience I can share three huge ones with you right now. You can share these with your beloved if you're seeking male chastity yourself and tell her this is from one woman to another.

First... your sex life is going to be several orders of magnitude better. I know as well as the next woman how "routine" it can get.

It's not that we don't fancy our men any more or that we've gone off them... it's just that we have other things on our mind and that, coupled with their inattention to the finer points of lovemaking mean it's often just another chore for us.

With male chastity, that all changes. Pretty much overnight he's going to become the ardent, focused and insatiable lover you remember him as being when you first met.

Secondly... your emotional connection will become much stronger. One of the big problems in relationships is the loss of that emotional intimacy. When he becomes more focused on you, that all changes.

He's actually going to be interested when you talk about your day, and not just rolling his eyes heavenwards.

And thirdly... over time it helps you grow into a more assertive, loving and self-aware woman. This one is hard to explain, but every woman I've corresponded with who has taken strict male chastity and orgasm denial seriously with their husbands -- even, and maybe especially to the point of permanent orgasm denial -- has found a new lease of life within themselves.

This sounds very much like female domination, but it's not, I assure you. It's more a case of we become more aware of how we are loved and desired and so our self-esteem grows. Hard to explain but truly fantastic to experience.

If you're a woman reading this, either because you've been shown it by your man, or you're looking for resources yourself to try and persuade your man to give male chastity a try, I promise you, so long as your relationship is solid and loving, and you want to add more spice and intimacy to your life, then it's well worth finding out more about male chastity and giving it a try.

So... click the blue link and claim your FREE male chastity guide and discover the truth about male chastity.

But HURRY! I'm giving away this Guide today and tomorrow ONLY to anyone who visits my website. So if you're serious about male chastity, be sure to get it before tomorrow night.

Your FREE guide is waiting for you here: http://www.malechastityblog.com/male-chastity-guide

Sexually Pleasing a Woman