Performance Anxiety For Swingers

Whether you are a swinger or not, it is normal for guys to wonder about their sexual performance. We all want to be good at sex and to be confident that we are giving the ladies maximum pleasure. I am sure I am not alone when I say that I am conscious of my performance whenever I have sex. Not to the point that I am so focussed on that and that I forget about concentrating on the lady I am playing with, but it is in the back of my mind that I want to leave her with a smile on her face after we have finished playing.

A lot of this is in the head and not necessarily caused by something physical. One big key to help you to overcome any form of performance anxiety is to remember is that if you are in a swinging scenario then the lady is obviously into you and likes you enough to allow you to play with her. She has accepted you for who and what you are and wants to take things further with you. So that should give you enough reason to grow in confidence and be able to relax knowing that she is actually into you and is looking forward to continuing. So don't over think what is happening and what you are doing.

If you are in a swinging situation, swap in a location that is most comfortable for you. Whether it is someone's house or some other private location where you won't have to worry about others around who may be watching you. If you are at a swinger's resort or a swinger's party where there is sex happening left right and centre then this may also increase your anxiety levels. If you have been with this person before and you are feeling comfortable with her, then you may want to get into the more adventurous scenarios such as having sex in front of others eventually, but don't just jump straight into the public setting if you think it will add to your performance anxiety.

As much as we would all love to stay hard and erect all night long, we need to accept the facts that guys just cannot keep an erection going for hours and hours on end. Well - there may be a very lucky few who can! We all wish that we could do that but unfortunately that is not going to happen. You want the experience to last so just pace yourself through the encounter and take things slowly. If you are with someone new for the first time then try to get to know her and play the game of trying to work out what she likes and doesn't like. Use your arsenal of oral and manual tricks and skills and see which ones are working out to be most effective. Treat that as part of the game and the fun of the experience.

Here is a big tip for you guys - go easy on the alcohol! By all means have a drink or 2 to help you to calm those nerves, but stay in control. There are countless stories and occasions of guys who have been unable to perform properly because they had a limp dick due to the excess alcohol. Don't let the drink be the cause of your poor performance and subsequent apologies!

So there are a few words of wisdom to help you deal with the performance anxiety that we all encounter at some point in our lives.

To learn more about how to deal with performance anxiety whilst swinging, have a look at http://www.swinglifestyles.net/category/better-sex/ and read about how to overcome this condition.

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What Do Swingers Look Like?

Swingers look just like everyday people. So when you next visit the local shopping centre, anyone you see there could be a swinger. That is what swingers really look like - just your regular everyday person because that is what they are when they are not swinging.

The level of fitness and body shape / size of individuals varies greatly in the swinging lifestyle. There is every shape and size imaginable but the bottom line is that there definitely is someone for everyone who is looking. Some people do take very good care of themselves by eating well and exercising regularly. But it comes down to how comfortable you are in your own skin and the air of confidence you have. If you are comfortable with your own body appearance then that will show and your playmates will also notice.

Some swingers can tend to be a bit self-conscious of their bodies due to the fact that at some point in the near future they are going to be in a hot tub or club naked with others around them. So they feel the need to not get complacent with their appearance and to do something to keep themselves always looking good. Whether that be maintaining a tan or simply eating well and doing some regular exercise.

And some swingers tend to be self-critical when it comes to physical appearance. Again, we are going to be naked in front of other people so some swingers actually do care about this and will make effort to look after themselves, or take extra time to prepare for meeting up with others (eg: trimming hair, being extra clean etc... )

But regardless of how good shape you think you are in, there will be some in the lifestyle who will not find you attractive. Then again there will be some you find attractive and some you will not. Just like the outside life, there are personal preferences and we all have them, so don't take offence if someone in the lifestyle does not find you attractive.

Think back to when you were first dating someone. How did you look after your appearance then? Did you do any special grooming? Did you work extra hard at the gym for a while? Wear any special clothes? Well, swinging can be looked at in a similar context in that you are constantly meeting up with new people and you want to do your best to keep the odds in your favour of a positive outcome and some fun times ahead!

One of the best tips for you to improve your appearance is to keep your self-confidence high and to let it show - but just don't overdo it. When you meet people, do it in a confident manner instead of a timid manner. Even if you are not feeling confident you could 'fake it until you make it'. Act confident and you will be confident and you will be far more attractive to others.

The most important thing to know is that there are people in the lifestyle who are great fun to be around and then there are people who simply are not. Personal fitness has got nothing to do with how pleasant a character you are. If a couple is fun to be around then others are more likely to want to spend time with them. If you can have a few laughs and have decent conversation with the other couples, then you are more likely to enjoy your time spent with them and this will make them more attractive.

Most swinging couples would rather spend intimate time playing with others who are great people but not so physically attractive, than to play with attractive looking people who are not fun to be around.

Enjoy your time playing with those who are attracted to you and just forget about the ones who are not. At the end of the day 'attractiveness' is subjective.

For a more in-depth look why people swing and how to start, come and get your FREE 38 page guide at http://www.swingaus.com/

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